Breaking the silence.

"Storm Clouds" 1964

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She was 15. Her sophomore year was in full swing. She had great friends. She had great grades. She had a crush on a great guy. He was tall, dark and handsome. He was two years older. She knew he liked her too. He talked to her at school. He invited her haunting housing with him. She knew soon he would ask her to be his girlfriend. She would wear his class ring proudly.

One afternoon he showed up unannounced at her house. Her parents were not home and she knew the rules so she met him in the yard and they talked. After a while he convinced her that her parents’ rule was stupid. He had to go to the bathroom. Besides, they could watch TV inside. What would it hurt?

So they went inside. They were watching TV and he kissed her! She was thrilled. Then he kissed her again and touched her in a way in which she was not comfortable. She broke off the kiss. But he kissed her again. And this time he continued to touch her. She told him no. She said she was not ready for this. He did not listen. He pushed on, even further. She said no. She said it hurt, but he continued on. She tried to push him away. He was stronger than she was and he resisted her efforts. Her continued protests fell on deaf ears. In the end she fell silent, trying to endure by pretending to be somewhere else. Anywhere else. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

Eventually he was finished. He got up and adjusted his clothes silently. He did not say a word as he left the house. He did not say anything to her at school the next day. He never spoke to her again.

She was silent too. She held her pain and anger inside. She did not tell her parents what had happened. She knew they would focus on the wrong thing and simply punish her for letting him in the house in the first place. She did not tell any other adult either. She knew they could never give her back what he had stolen from her.

It was years before she could begin to move past what had happened to her on that day. Her self esteem was shattered. Her self image was completely changed. She was no longer the person she had known when she looked in the mirror that morning before school. She had to learn to like the stranger that now looked back at her when she brushed her teeth.

A lifetime later she had a daughter of her own in high school. The daughter was much like the mother was at her age. She had the friends. She had the grades. She even had a crush on a tall, dark and handsome boy. A boy who was two years older. He invited her to sit with him at lunch. He had come over to play basketball in the drive. And now he had offered to give her a ride home from school in his new car.

The girl who was now a mother was terrified.

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1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Chalyn said,

    Wow Amy, I have been thinking all day of what to say. First off, you are incredibly brave to say this. Your words are powerful and hopefully they will help someone. Second, your princess is lucky to have you. You will help her through these difficult years. Finally, I know of a 15 year old girl that dated a cute boy 2 grades older…23 years later he is still cute. There are good guys out there.

    You are a strong and beautiful woman, a great mother and a wonderful friend!

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