Seriously? I am pretty sure I did not sign up for this.

Tuesday morning at work my shin was itching like crazy. It is winter in the Midwest. Those of you that live through it on a yearly basis know this means this is a time for closed windows, heated air and dry skin.

Like any well prepared former Girl Scout I carry lotion in my purse. After the third time of reaching down to scratch my leg, I finally grabbed my lotion. I scooted my chair away from my desk. I pulled up my pant leg and pulled down my sock.

And there it was. A significant dent around my shin where the elastic in my sock had been. Yikes! My calf above the sock line looked kinda puffy too. I pushed on the puffiness with my thumb. Double Yikes! When I lifted my thumb the full thumb-sized impression remained in my leg.

I quickly repeated the entire process on my other leg – with the same results.

I told Diane I thought I might have a problem. I showed her the fun circus trick I could perform with my thumb and the skin on my leg.

“I think I am retaining water.”

Not the last time I would be Captain Obvious that day.

“If I was sixty-five, I would diagnose myself with congestive heart failure. But at thirty-cough I doubt that is it.”

“Is it,” she looks surreptitiously around and lowers her voice, “that time of the month?”

Are you freaking kidding me? Now I have to deal with swelling and water retention on a monthly basis TOO? This is just not right. There has to be some mistake. The universe can’t really be this cruel, can it?

On the up side, while I was lamenting this new betrayal of my own body, everyone at work got a really good look at the super cute socks Princess Girl got me for Christmas.

They were blue. With penguins. And they matched my sweater exactly.

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