Thirty years ago or so, I was proud every time a friend or classmate would comment on how nice my mom was. Even though she was a single parent working hard to make sure I had everything I needed, she always volunteered to drive if she was available. I knew I could volunteer her for Girl Scout field trips or other activities.

Of course then we came into the period of our lives when she married my step-dad and gave birth to my sisters. High school and college were not warm and fuzzy times between the two of us. There were issue with my dad, money, and adjusting to her new family. But we all adjusted eventually. Princess Girl was born and my relationship with my mom drew even closer. We worked together. We talked on the phone every day. And Friday night after work drinks ALWAYS included mom.

Then my sisters started going away to college. She started complaining about money all the time. Every once in a while she’d act like she and my step-dad were on the verge of skid row instead of a two income family putting two kids through college. And she started being derogatory about Princess Girl’s activities. “She does everything.” My response was always the same… She isn’t doing a single activity that the girls (my sisters) didn’t do. “Well, yeah, but…” And then the comments would come up about how Princess Girl MUST attend the local community college. She couldn’t possibly go straight to a 4 year school. Although she fought for the exact opposite for my sisters against her husband.

But whatever. Nothing to ruin a relationship over.

Then in late February of this year she called me up one evening and asked if I had plans. There was a guy playing acustic music at a local bar/restuarant that she used to go listen to when she was in her twenties. My step-dad did not want to go. She was looking for company. I did not have any plans, and Princess Girl had hours of homework so I told her I would meet her down there. We shared a pizza and each had two beers. When the waitress brought the bill my mom told me she would pick up the whole tab since my birthday was just a few days away.

Those few days later, she posted Happy Birthday on my facebook page.

That was it. No card. No presents. No phone call.

Now, I’m not greedy. I’m not looking for everyone I know to spend hundreds of dollars on me for my birthday. But a card from my own mother would be nice.

A couple months later, birthdays came up in our conversation. I jokingly reminded her that she never got me anything for my birthday. Her response? “I bought you dinner.”

Yeah thanks. Dinner that YOU begged me to join you for so you could relive your angsty early twenties. Whatever. Even Princess Girl rolled her eyes at that one.

So tomorrow is mom’s birthday. I’ve bought her a gift. But as the day gets closer, I’m having a hard time picturing myself giving it to her.

One thing mom taught me, and taught me well, as I was growing up was how to hold a grudge.


1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Doe said,

    Okay, I’m curious (and nosey). Did you give her the gift? And does she read your blog? Wow…that was some writing… Katie Bar The Door! LOL!

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