An all time low [Redux.]

[This guy is going through his 4th or 5th very messy, very Facebook public breakup with the girl he started dating 2 days after this incident. Karma baby.]

Originally published 8/17/09:

dog_kissAs I posted on Friday, this weekend was the 23rd annual Tug Fest. The fireworks on Friday evening were once again phenomenal. General consensus was this year’s fireworks were the best yet. After the fireworks were over, Princess Girl walked home with her grandma and aunt while I stayed to enjoy some adult relaxation and entertainment.

I saw several friends with whom I had not talked to in a while. It was good to catch up. I listened to a little bit of two different bands. The music was good. As the evening wound down the activities moved indoors. My friends and I choose my favorite local pub and ordered a fresh round of drinks.

The bar was loud and crowded, of course. But it was a jovial atmosphere. Everyone was looking forward to the actual tug the next day. Shortly after we entered the bar I saw a guy I know slightly. We went to school together, but he was a couple years younger than I. He walked up to say hi. I smiled and hi’d him back. He then leaned in like he was either going to say something in my ear (it was noisy) or give me a kiss on the cheek in greeting. Unfortunately, neither of these was on his mind. Instead, he opened his mouth, stuck out his tongue, and proceeded to LICK MY FACE FROM CHIN TO EYEBROW. No, I am not kidding. Yes, I was (and still am) completely disgusted.

But that was not all. After slobbering all over my face he leans back and asks me, “So how come you’ve never gone out with me?”

Dude. Really? Umm, probably because you just dog-kissed me. “Well, probably because you’ve never asked me out.” Is what I replied. And followed with the thought ‘and now I never will even if you do ask’.

At that point I gracefully backed away and rejoined my friends. If I had thought that I had imagined the whole licking episode; like a waking nightmare I was quickly dissuaded. The friend that had seen the whole thing shared the story with the rest of the group. I’m glad they could be entertained by my misfortune. It was shortly after this we decided to call it a night. I was afraid of what other horrifying pick-up lines I might be subjected to if we stayed any longer.

It was an interesting weekend…still single.

image, ahajokes; yeah like this.

P.S. Illinois totally rocked The Tug. Big winners with 11 wins 0 loses and (count ‘em) TEN FULL PULLS!!!


1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    Doe said,

    Oh My God! That was the worst pick-up line I’ve ever heard! LOL! I don’t know how in the world you didn’t punch him! Loved the story…

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