Parenting never gets easier.

8/365 Matryoshka

8/365 Matryoshka (Photo credit: Flооd)

My poor Princess Girl has a lot on her emotional plate right now. She has entered her senior year of high school. Being a “grown-up kid” is looming on the horizon. Each day, it seems, we have another “the last first of high school” event. Each day we have tasks due to prepare for her flight next year into the world of college and higher learning.

And I’m a pro at helping her handle these things. I know her. I know how to guide her to look at the exciting, happy side of these things instead of dwelling (too long anyway) over the sad, leaving home soon aspects. Oh I know, she still worries about all the changes. She is already missing her friends. But we are focusing on the positives. Things like how much fun she is going to have this year as “top dog”. Things like she will be the voice of experience for her younger friends as she goes through all of these events before them and can help shape and guide them in the next few years.

What I am not a pro at is helping her deal with her more adult feelings about how her dad has treated her for the entirety of her life. When she was younger, I followed her Pollyanna view. Hey, it’s her dad, but she is my Princess Girl. There was no way I was going to crush her beautiful little heart.

Now that she is nearly 18 and his actions frustrate her and break her heart on a regular basis because she is old enough to see that even if a dad lives a couple hours away that does not excuse them not participating in your life. She is old enough to see that dads who only spend an hour over lunch a couple times a year are not participating in their child’s life.

And all I can say is I am sorry. I tell her I wish I could change things for her. I wish I could fix it. Unfortunately, I am well aware, and so is she, that I can not fix his lack of parental participation.

And what I would really like to say is I am sorry your dad is a jackhole. I would like to tell her that I wish I could make your dad stop being a self absorbed tool. I would like to put his happy ass in jail for the money that he owes for her support.

But she does not deserve the weight of that on her shoulders. She does not need to bear any more of the burden of his actions than she already does. So I keep silent. I do not say those things to her.

But I think them.

 

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